Princes of the Apocalypse Recap 1

This piece was originally published on the 10th of November 2020. It has since been re-edited ready for publication here.

This is the first weekly recap/review of the actions and shenanigans of my group playing through Princes of the Apocalypse. The party are currently level four

This session begins with tension. The majority of the group is sat in their makeshift camp on the edge of the Dessarin Road, two thirds of the way from Womford to Summit Hall. There has been an argument between Bingo, Forge, and Gil.  In a flawed attempt to sooth the palpable tension, Roland used his God's power to calm the emotions of those around him. However, the only person this actually worked on was, of course, the only person who didn't need it... Čadas. Čadas, as always, is sat in his own world reading his books unperturbed by what is happening around him. He sinks lower in his sleeping roll and settles in contented. Despite failing to calm their emotions, Roland’s actions did in fact lead to the dissolution of the tension in the air. The redirection of their aggression caused the argument to dissipate and they all went about their own business. 

This camping session began, not because night approached nor because they needed to rest. Instead, it was because their druidic barbarian in his blind rage pursued a group of cultists on giant vultures four miles to the river. His rage faded and Cybin wisely acknowledged that he would be unable to leap the distance across the river. Having ended his pursuit, he turned heading back to the road. The group knew that as wise as he was, Cybin may well forget which direction they were headed up the road and as such decided to camp here and wait. Little did they know, for the first hour Cybin was still running away from them. It takes a further four hours for him to return, by which point they needed to secure camp anyway. 

The following morning, Roland provided the group with tea whilst they ate some breakfast and tended to the horses. Though healed from the attacks of the giant vultures the day before, the horses were still skittish, anxiously keeping an eye to the skies. When they attempted to get the wagon moving, Morty, the one who had been injured, reared up trying to break from the cart almost tipping it sideways. Before Roland could react Gil leaped off the cart, planting himself in front of the horse. He grabbed Morty by the bit and steadied him gradually calming him enough to get them moving. 

"I walk with Morty for now." Before the words were even fully out of Gil's mouth, Bingo had propelled himself out of the back of the wagon onto the front seat. With a dramatic flourish, he seized the reigns and commanding the horses the best he knows how... almost entirely wrong. After a few quick pointers from Roland he seemed to now grasp the basics. 

In a lull of conversation on the road, Bingo spoke out about a particular concern of his which had been worrying him for some time. He had no idea why the others were trying to find the delegation and wasn't sure why he himself was trying to do so; other than he the fact he might get paid. The group steadily if not warily revealed their motives for chasing the delegation. Roland regaled the group with histories and tales of Roland the 27th: the greatest and most prestigious knight the Order has ever known. The Order of the Gauntlet trained Roland and he studied their ways and histories for half a century before venturing out to live up to the name given to him. He explained that he is on his first quest, which is to locate and inter the body of Roland the 27th of his name. The finding of the delegation is the second quest they’ve bequeathed unto him.

Gil, on the other hand, was told to go find delegation while drinking. He didn't want to stop drinking but was reminded that he still could drink whilst searching. He was given a small amount of gold to subsidise his drinking... which to no-one’s surprise did not last long. Gil especially was intrigued to hear that Čadas works for the Harpies. He was tasked to find the dwarven historian shield-bearer who was with the delegation. As a man who values knowledge it was his task to locate the tomes that the historian carried at the very least and to return those if the Dwarf had met his demise. Having lived and travelled together for over a month Gil is shocked to find out that he is not the only one who is a Harper. Cue intense discussion where no one acknowledges that Čadas is the one who said it wrong

After asking Cybin if he was part of any secret order, Bingo quickly retracted his question. He realised that a man who does not know what bread should cost would not be a part of a greater entity. Having tried very hard to get the orc to bathe and possibly put on a new coat, he is very much sure that no one will have approached him.

Once Morty had settled down Gil rejoined the others sitting in the back of the cart. A discussion cropped up about the preservation of Grimjaw's severed head. Grimjaw was the head of a group of bandits at Riverguard Keep who were affiliated with the water cult that the group had delt with prior to this. In the end, they end up taking the top off of their small barrel of mead. Not wanting to waste more than necessary, Gil chugged a third of it to make room for the head. A couple of bad constitution checks later he was very drunk and the world spun inside of the wagon.

In an effort to preserve the head as much as possible, Roland and Gil began to melt candles to seal the cracks in the mead barrel. So drunk he lacked the ability of basic reason, Gil offered a candle from his backpack. This was no ordinary candle. It was a black speckled candle containing the last of a block of foul incense which Gil had procession off and had used for comedic effect a few times before. Roland naively broke off a small piece, none the wiser to the effect it would have, and breathed his fiery breath gently onto it. No sooner than he did so did chaos ensue. Gil scrambled to escape the smell by leaping towards the front of the wagon; only getting a couple feet before his drunkeness caused him to stumble. Whilst grabbing Bingo's shoulders in an attempt to steady himself and it all became too much. His breakfast and the large amount of mead in his stomach erupts forth making a second appearance over the back and head of the poor bard. In his panic Bingo whips the reigns urging the horses into a sprint, not fully realising that he cannot escape the sensations he is experiencing in this way.

Acting out of pure instinct, Roland launched the half-melted candle out towards the back of the wagon in an effort to be rid of it. The piece of black candle hit the back of the wizard’s hat. This is one of the few times that the group have ever seen him remove the hat from his head. Čadas wafted his hat vigorously in the air for a moment before remembering that he has presdigitation. With a sigh he raised himself up and proceeded to magically cleanse the back of the wagon, leaving it smelling instead like a beautifully baked apple and cinnamon pie. 

When the group finally arrived at Summit Hall, Roland announced joyously that their mission was successful. After receiving scornful and disbelieving looks from the group, he corrected his statement to give credit back to the Pinky Blinders, Gil shouting up to the guards to introduce them as such. They were brought into the courtyard of a monastery-like building, a guard heading inside to find Ushien Stormbanner. Whilst waiting for the meeting, Bingo dug out the hand written and sealed letter they received from Phil, one of the Knights of Samular they had met at Riverguard Keep.

During their brief but tense meeting with Ushien, Bingo presented the letter. (cue a request for Ushien to sound like queen Elizabeth followed by a rendition of the "Philip look I am a stamp" joke) Ushien hesitated to say the Knights of Samular owed the Pinky Blinders anything. For in her eyes, they interfered with the job that she sent the knights to accomplish. They may have killed Grimjaw but it was not to help her and her order. It was a coincidence. She had sent word days before the others that her knights were headed to clear out the bandit stronghold. Therefore, she would be the one to receive the bounty which the Pinky Blinders were aiming to claim.

"this is tit for tickle?" Gil asks. The looks of confusion which the others gave him and the look of offence of Ushien’s face informed him that he had said something wrong once again. "Did I say wrong?" 

Upon clarification of the turn of phrase, Ushien offered them 2000 of the gold from the bounty and a vague allusion to a favour in the future. Leaving her office, the group conferred in the hallway, unhappy with this offer. They believed, and likely still do, that they are the only true recipients of the bounty she has claimed. In his rage, Bingo tried to set off Cybin's rage by saying that she is stealing his mushroom and bread money. After a moment, Cybin replies saying, "bread is cheap though and I grow my own mushrooms." A wise move amongst the emotionally influenced moods of those surrounding him. After a much longer discussion out in the hallway, they decide not to attack the knights.

Gil wandered off at some point in these discussions claiming to be searching for a toilet because his "stomach playing up". When in reality, he was searching for their prayer room. In an interesting turn of fate, he actually ended up spending time in the bathroom instead. Whilst there he graffitied the door, leaving a symbol on the door with a menacing message "we can get you anywhere" written in candle wax. The wax appears translucent and makes the message look like it is oozing out of the cold marble wall itself.  

After a little while longer, the group settled for 2500 gold and a favour. Once inside Roland tried to begin negotiations, even going so far as to attempt to shush Bingo. However, the slippery little halfling managed to evade his grasp. He seals the deal for 2500 gold and a favour in exchange for the head of Grimjaw and his pocketbook. The only adjustment she demands is that the favour is not used for a frivolous deed.

"So, if we were to ask you to rough someone up?" Bingo asked testing the waters.

"Depends on the someone" Cybin grunted from behind.

"Indeed, and also why." Ushien replies. After a moment, Ushien admits sheepishly that the order is short on funds and only has the 2000 gold that she originally offered. She writes an IOU for a favour, a receipt for 2000 gold given and 500 gold left to be collected in the future.

Gil having gotten lost in the monastery during this exchange did actually manage to find the prayer room. First, he prayed to babushka and then scrawled a symbol of babushka in chalk before leaving. Asking inconspicuously for help, he was lead back to Ushien's office. He very sadly gives up the barrel and rolling it across the table, the liquid sloshing against the head and edges of the barrel as it rolled. Čadas also handed over the notebook, having gleaned all he could from it prior to the meeting. Upon their exit from the office the session ended for the week.

Thank you for reading this summary of the events and shenanigans from this week’s session of Princes of the Apocalypse. Hope you enjoyed it.